Flow Fessions

I started my period for the first time when I was 10 years old. I was in Tai-Kwon-Do training, and was in my white Dojo uniform… YIKES! Luckily, I was at home after training, and though my uniform was absolutely ruined, I didn’t have to experience the stigma of a menstrual blood stain in public. I’m sure that would have made the whole process 10x more traumatic! My mother was absolutely my rock, and was able to comfort me and walk me through what was happening. Mom, if you’re reading this… thank you!

I was a junior in college and started my period unexpectedly while I was in class. All I had on me was a pad, and when I opened the packaging up in the restroom it made this incredibly loud RIIIIIIIIIP noise. From three stalls down, I heard a little girl demand, “Mommy, why does she have a snack?” I’m still not sure who laughed louder, her mom or me. It was absolutely the tension breaker I needed at the moment.

A few years ago, I was enjoying a day out with one of my close friends, who happened to be a cis man. After a nice lunch, we decided to head back to my house. When I walked into my bedroom, I realized I had just washed and dried the linens for my bed, and when in a rush that day, had forgotten to actually put them on the bed. I apologized for the pile of sheets and blankets and told my friend he could instead sit on a chair I had in my room. As I went to move the linens, I realized my trusty white mattress was visible, boasting glorious period stains and all. “Don’t worry, it’s just old blood that stained”, I assured him. As if in a scene from a horror movie, my friend stood frozen in the doorway. “Blood?” he asked, shockingly. I thought he was going to pass out. “You know, from having my period,” I laughed. 

 I was late to the puberty game and didn’t have much of an education when it came to actually managing periods. I had started my period the day before a big pool party with my friends. My parents never told me about tampons, but I knew they existed and if I wanted to swim, I needed to use a tampon. I held off as long as possible from swimming, but when everyone else was in the pool, I went inside my friends house and snooped through every bathroom to find a box of tampons. 

I was dating a new guy at the time and he came to visit me at college. Our rental home was notorious of having random power outages. He was meant to arrive any minutes and our power went out. I ran to the bathroom before he arrived and when I sat down, I had gotten a text he was there. I rushed to clean up and wash my hands, then ran to open the door. I happened to be on my period at the time so being in the dark, I could only hope I cleaned myself up well enough. (No windows in the bathroom) He had driven two hours to visit so he had to use the bathroom immediately. After he was done, he came out and said, "uh, there was blood on the seat." I was paralyzed with embarrassment. And he said, " No big deal, I cleaned it up." That was 2012. We're now married with two wonderful kiddos.

I went to a Jewish overnight camp for 8 years straight and one summer I said to myself “this summer I WILL learn how to use a tampon.” I so desperately wanted to put an end to pads, and be comfortable enough to swim during the summer using a product I know wouldn’t float out into the lake. My mom tried helping me before I went off to camp, but still I was not successful. One day before lake time, I asked a friend who we all designated the group “mom” because she taught half of my bunkmates how to use a tampon at camp. She showed me how to do it and then I tried it on my own. I came out of the bathroom stall and cried out to the bunk “guys, I learned how to use a tampon!” They all clapped and congratulated me because this was my third summer trying. 

As a lifelong Aunt Flow supporter, I can't count the number of times I've heard someone say something along the lines of "don't you know when your period is going to start?" or "why aren't you just prepared for that?" Well, this year, I decided to stop using birth control after the better part of 20 years (seriously, why is there no birth control pill for men? Can we talk about that?). As my body is adjusting, my periods are inconsistent as all hell. I don't know when they're coming, I don't know how heavy they'll be, it's all just a guessing game. I'm grateful my office has supplied Aunt Flow products because who freaking knows what the day will bring.

Oh my gosh, I have so many! The guy I recently started dating invited me over for dinner and I started my period...AT HIS HOUSE, completely unprepared. I looked through his bathroom cabinets hoping an ex-girlfriend would have left a tampon there haha (desperate times, desperate measures!), but nope. Toilet-paper filled pants was my secret that night.